The view from here


I have a confession. I used to have a fear of flying. Well, I'm still nervous when I fly but I had not flown in years (like maybe 10 years or so) until I booked a commercial that was scheduled to shoot in Texas. When I auditioned, I actually hoped I wouldn't book it. Sure enough, I did. I tried to come up with a ton of reasons why I would not be able to make the shoot. I had nightmares and a ton of anxiety leading up the day I was to take off.

Fear of Flying

I was riddled with fear as I took my seat. I just kept taking deep breaths and tried to relax. Once we took off, I prayed to God and asked him to watch over all of us. A sense of calm took over me as I did that. I knew I was in His hands and there was nothing I could but just try my best to relax. The fear was all in my head. It had more to do with control than anything else.

It's weird that I would have such an intense fear when my step-dad is a pilot. He has explained just about every detail he could to calm my nerves. But fear isn't logical. You just have to get in there and face it. I was proud of myself for getting on that flight. I shot my commercial and had a great experience. The flight home was still a but nerve-wracking but not nearly as daunting. I did it. I faced my fear.

Overcoming a fear is a great feeling. I'm sure I will be nervous the next time I get on a plane. But ... I will get on a plane again. That's what matters.

(Harvey Bernard coat, BCBG belt, American Apparel black body suit, Steve Madden Boots, vintage gloves, photo by Winston Vargas)